Here I am again hoping this is the time, the most awaited time of my life to start another endeavor, another mission to fulfill as part of my purpose of existence. I hope this time much lighter than the past's test of faith. Maybe lighter in a way that I almost get used to it and always find myself clinging on YOU, than on the sharp edges tempting me to cling on. It excites me, yet it scares me so much.
How will I be able to cope loneliness? The question I always have in mind. How can I make time pass by as fast as the lightning flash? Will there be another miracle of extension? Are these messages sent which I can not discern? or these were meant a need to do things left undone to give me a bit of relax mind?
Still there is this part of me saying, "Please Lord. let me go this time. I am ready yet so weary." In five days time, when i bade goodbye with so much tears in my eyes, I would be grateful for this is God's perfect time to be away from my love ones. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Can I shout? A deafening shout so no one can hear? Can I cry as if no one is watching?
I am pretty sure, this is will be the loneliest moment of my life... yet I have to be strong. They say "Just never look back for you to get that flight."
I hope maybe this time.
